ORGANIC MANIC

Does spending an extra 60 cents on every head of organic lettuce ease your mind? Or $8 for organic oranges? Oh, peas! This organic shift is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

People who spray pesticides on farms seem to be coming down with irritating illnesses, like rashes, repertory infections, oh- and cancer. Terrible! No wonder the organic label helps squash fears of pesticide poisoning, unhealthy hormones and creepy carcinogens. And have you heard that hormones injected in non-organic meat is causing girls to sprout prematurely? Girls are going into menopause at 13 because of this stuff, right?

Before Whole Foods propaganda throws you into an organic panic, read this:

A report from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine (along with several others) discovered that there is no evidence of organic food being more nutritious. Furthermore, it remains unclear whether the amounts of pesticides in conventionally grown fruit and vegetables are high enough to be a health hazard. Nail in the coffin- It’s not very good for your beloved environment, either!

THE BEET 4 BEET RUNDOWN

Time to rethink those “conventional” carrots. They may not be as evil as your overpriced organic food market wants you to believe.

Organic food costs 10% - 40% more than conventionally grown food. Reduced use of preservatives means the food goes gross at record rates. There are no proven health benefits, and Nobel Prize winner Norman Borlaugh states that in order for organic farming to feed the world’s population, cropland would have to be expanded dramatically and ecosystems would be destroyed in the process.

Okay, so what does this mean??

Should I spend my hard earned cash on organic grass in the off chance that it might prevent health problems? My verdict is this: When I can afford to splurge on food that doesn’t cause cancer, hormone imbalances, and growth defects, I’ll consider it. In the meantime, I’ll Trade my Joes in for a Reasonable Ralph’s. I’ll settle for half price at Whole Foods. And I’ll take produce pesticide prevention into my own hands by scrubbing my plumbs ‘til they bleed.