WORSE THAN WHITAKER

I was making light of things yesterday, but my condition turned south really quickly. Think Whoopi in Color Purple. Maybe a little worse. My eye is swollen shut, and it looks like I'll have to make my first uninsured Dr. appointment. Where do you go without insurance? How do you pay? I'm new at this! It's like losing your virginity or stepping to the dark side. I'll even have the accompanying regret and confusion common in such situations.